Answers To Some Questions

I’ve been listening to my iTunes on shuffle a lot the last few days. You know it’s getting close to the end of a semester when I have my iTunes playing no particular playlist and I break out my shows on DVD like The OC, 24, Laguna Beach, The Office, and anything else I have. I just need that background noise when I’m writing papers or studying. I usually don’t actually listen to the words but I have been listening a lot to the words in the songs this go around. Has me thinking about the answers to a lot of questions…

Who do you think you are?

In all honesty, I believe I have a pretty good grasp of who I am. It has taken me 21 years to figure it out, but I really feel like I was able to get a true grasp on who I am this last year. I really feel terrible for anyone who I met from about Halloween til about…I don’t know, Spring Break this last school year. Yeah, I was just all sorts of confused about me, my life, my friends, relationships, and just everything. I had about six months of just trial after trial for myself and my family. I really appreciate those who stayed strong and true to me through my clingy neurotic, yet somehow completely detached from the world stage I was going through. I really think I needed that little time in my life to realize just how blessed I am, and to realize that I have so many amazing people who I am grateful to be surrounded by. Now I realize that I am strong woman of God, who is driven to succeed, and I feel like I have a great grasp of what I want in life.

Where are you going?

That’s a tough question. I have always just assumed that I would graduate college, then go and move out east to the DC area or something, but now I am not sure. I know I am going to be successful in whatever opportunity presents itself and I accept, but the reality of things right now is that I don’t know where I am going. I know what I want, I just do not know what route I am going to take to get there, and you know what, I am ok with that right now.

Should I stay or should I go?

Ok, I ask this ALL THE TIME! I hate admitting it, but I really do love Provo and the life I have established here. There is always something for me to do, good people to surround myself with, and cheap rent. I am worried that I am getting too comfortable here though. I do not see myself staying here forever, but anytime a cool opportunity presents itself for me to leave, I end up chickening out. I will graduate soon, and I worry that I might end up passing up some great opportunities that life may present because I am afraid to leave my comfortable life I have here in Provo.

What have I done to deserve this?

Oh Pet Shop Boys, I’m pretty sure Gaga got a lot of her inspiration from this group. Aside from that though, I find myself asking this exact question on a regular basis. I have been blessed with a great job, a good living arrangement, amazing friends, and a family to die for. I really do not know what I did to deserve such blessings in my life, but I am surely not complaining.

What’s your name?
Even though I’m in the middle of paper, projects and studying my life away, I have been getting really into genealogy. Yep. It really makes you appreciate the people from your past who have suffered to bring you to such an amazing place as America. I love finding new names and making new discoveries about my ancestors, and truly being able to feel a connection with these people who have given me the name I have.

Jar of Hearts-Christina Perri

Where Are You Going-Dave Matthews

Should I Stay or Should I Go-The Clash

What Have I Done To Deserve This-The Pet Shop Boys

What’s Your Name-Lynrd Skynyrd